


How (not) to mend a broken heart

by StrangeNoise



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Break Up, Dating, Gavin has lots of feelings but doesn't want to show them, Human AU, It's Valentine's Day, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Sad with a Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 14:39:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17768672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeNoise/pseuds/StrangeNoise
Summary: When Gavin Reed gets dumped by his boyfriend on valentine's day, it leaves him with a lot of feelings and a very expensive restaurant reservation he can't cancel. He goes searching for someone to have dinner with him and finds that person in Niles, his best friend's co-worker's brother. Their non-date goes better than expected, but it eventually turns out that Gavin still has a lot of feelings to work through, before anything can come off it...





	How (not) to mend a broken heart

**Author's Note:**

> There it is: my valentine's day piece. And I somehow managed to make it sad. Idek anymore. Still hope you enjoy. Please excuse all errors in this and have a great day!

Gavin gets dumped on valentine’s day.

 

The fact that it happens on this day doesn’t bother him too much in and on itself. He never really cared about this certain date that other couples made such a fuzz about. Sometimes he would go on dates with his partner on valentine’s day or buy them some chocolate, but it had never been a day that had been reserved solely for him and whoever he was currently in a relationship with. So, the problem for him isn’t that he has been dumped on this supposedly most romantic of days.

 

Gavin’s problem is rather that he made a reservation in one of Detroit’s most expensive restaurants to treat himself and his boyfriend to something nice and that reservation is non-refundable. He had made it weeks ago, when his relationship had still been running smoothly and he had been convinced that he and Nick would stay together for the foreseeable future. Then, shortly after new year’s Nick had started distancing himself from Gavin more and more and he had had no idea why. Gavin had tried to find out and maybe do something about it, but when Nick had only kept withdrawing more and more, yelling at Gavin that nothing was wrong and to leave him alone, he had decided to let things take their natural course and if that meant his relationship ending, so be it.

 

So, when Nick came to him this morning, the belongings he had stored at Gavin’s flat until now stuffed into a duffle bag and told him that things between them just weren’t going to work out, Gavin was already somewhat resigned with his fate. It still stung. Of course, it did. Knowing, somewhere in the back of his head that his relationship was about to end was an entirely different thing from actually being broken up with. And there was also the fact that Gavin had had no intention of ending things. He and Nick had been a couple for well over a year and up until a few weeks ago Gavin had been very happy. But in the end, that’s was how relationships worked and it wasn’t like Gavin had never left anyone, who had no intention of leaving the relationship themselves. He would get over it and find someone else somewhere down the line. At least, that’s what he tells himself, sitting on his couch and sulking.

 

Right now, though, he’s lonely and he has that expensive reservation that he would hate to let go to waste. He wonders, if one of his friends would have dinner with him but abandons that idea fairly quickly. They are all either in relationships or probably not the type to have a casual valentine’s day dinner with him out of fear that anyone would get the wrong idea. Gavin stretches out on his sofa, his trusty cat Bob taking his usual spot by his feet. After a few minutes, Gavin takes out his phone to text his best friend Tina.

 

“ _Made an expensive reservation for Nick and me and now the fucker dumped me. You know anyone who’d have dinner with me so I didn’t spend 200 bucks on nothing?”_

It takes a few minutes for Tina to answer.

 

_“Shit! Should I come over?”_

_“Nah. Fuck him. I’m good. Just looking for someone to have dinner with tonight.”_

Several minutes pass this time. Gavin contemplates downloading some hot new dating app but decides against it. Then he checks his friends on Facebook. And their friends. But there’s no one he’d particularly like to have dinner with who would actually say yes. It’s frustrating. Then, a new text from Tina pops up.

 

_“I’ll drop by tomorrow. Will bring ice cream and gory movies.”_

Then another.

 

_“My colleague Connor’s got a brother who’s single. He’d ask him if you want to.”_

Gavin looks at his phone and groans. Great. Obviously, Tina has already told everyone and their mother that he’s been dumped. If they weren’t such good friends, he’d probably block her for that. But as it is, he just accepts his fate with the roll of an eye. Then he focuses his attention back on the offer at hand.

 

Tina works at a coffee shop and Gavin’s met her colleague, Connor, a few times before. He’s rather attractive, Gavin has to admit, but character-wise they couldn’t be further apart. Connor is bubbly and gets excited easily, especially around dogs. Gavin prefers cats and it’s damn near impossible to get him to the same excitement-level that seems to be Connor’s default. Gavin’s not sure if he could take spending an entire evening with someone like Connor.

 

_“Have you met him?”_ Gavin asks Tina, hoping to get more information. He hopes she has. Tina knows his type and he likes to think she wouldn’t have suggested it in the first place, if she knew he and Connor’s brother weren’t compatible.

 

_“yup. He looks so much like Connor it’s spooky. But he’s a lot calmer. Barely noticed him, when we were at Connor’s.”_

 

A calmer version of Connor sounds promising, Gavin thinks. Maybe he has different interests than Connor too and they’ll find something to talk about. Even if this isn’t going to be an actual date, having a nice chat with someone attractive will surely do Gavin good. Besides, he’s had some pretty terrible blind dates before, so how much worse can this possibly be? Gavin sighs and replies to Tina’s message.

 

_“And he’d go out with me?”_

 

_“Connor’s busy texting him right now. I’ll tell you if there’s any news.”_

 

This time, Gavin waits almost an hour for the next text. He makes good use of the time by stripping down the bed and throwing all duvet covers and pillows that even vaguely smell like Nick into the laundry. Gavin tells himself that he’s just doing it, because they need to be cleaned anyway. And if it has something to do with his recent break-up, he’s simply speeding up the moving-on-part that comes with it. At some point he even considers telling Tina not to visit the next day. He doesn’t need all this post-break-up affection she’s showering on him. Being recently dumped isn’t affecting him at all. He’s never been better.

 

When his phone vibrates in his pocket, Gavin’s heart starts hammering and he anxiously takes it out to read what Tina wrote.

 

_“Niles agreed to go out with you”_ Tina’s text says.

 

_“It took a bit of convincing, but don’t take it personally. He’s just introverted like that.”_

 

Gavin snorts and sends Tina the address of the restaurant he has the reservation for.

 

_“Tell him to meet me there at eight. And tell him not to wear anything too fancy. Everything’s on me. You can text him my number too. Oh and tell him that it’s not a date and that I don’t expect anything to happen or some shit like that”_

 

Gavin rereads the message several times, before he hesitantly adds:

 

_“And tell him I said thanks.”_

 

He and Tina text back and forth for a bit throughout the afternoon and by the time Gavin needs to get ready for the evening, he’s almost in a good mood. After a drawn-out shower he stands in front of his wardrobe and wonders what he should wear. He needs to wear something a little fancy, so the waiters don’t look down on him all night, but he also doesn’t want to overdo it and put pressure on Connor’s brother. It must be awkward enough to have a blind-date on valentine’s day – even if it’s not actually a date.

In the end Gavin opts for a simple grey button-down and black jeans.

 

On the way to his car Gavin finds that he’s strangely nervous. Sure, this isn’t going to be a real date, but he still wants to make a good impression. Most of all, because Tina probably spammed the poor guy with texts about how heartbroken Gavin is and how he should be treated very gently as a result. Gavin knows it’s only his friend caring about him, but it annoys him, nonetheless. He just wants to have a nice dinner and then go back home to watch mindless cartoon re-runs. He doesn’t need someone who pities him sitting opposite him and asking him if he’s alright all night. Once he’s in the car and on his way to the restaurant, Gavin turns up the volume of his car radio to drown out his nervousness and it actually helps a little.

 

He arrives a little early at the restaurant, which is a bit of a miracle given Detroit traffic and Gavin’s tendency to be late wherever he goes. There are several people mingling right in front of the entrance. Most of them are smoking or chatting away with each other and when Gavin tries to get a closer look, he decides none of them are Connor’s brother, Niles. There’s only one man that could possibly be Connor’s brother. He’s standing few steps away from the crowd and typing something on his phone.

 

When Gavin approaches, he finds that Tina didn’t lie, when she told him the guy looked almost identical to Connor. Granted, Niles’ face seems more angular and he has more muscle on his body than his brother, who’s hardly more than a twig. But other than that, Gavin is sure he’d get them confused if he were ever in the same room with both of them. Niles is dressed in all black and it sets his pale skin off nicely, Gavin thinks, as he comes to stand in front of the brunet and clears his throat.

 

“Hey, are you Niles?”, he asks and continues when the other nods, “I’m Gavin. Nice to meet you.”

 

“Likewise”, Niles replies and they shake hands. It’s awkward and not least because Niles is looking at Gavin so intently that the smaller male thinks he’s being scanned.

 

“Thanks again for coming”, Gavin says once they let go of each other’s hands, “Has to be pretty weird to be asked to go out with a stranger on valentine’s day…”

 

“I’ve had weirder things happen to me”, Niles states with a shrug, “Besides, if I have dinner with you, now, maybe Connor won’t bully me into going out for the rest of the year.”

 

Gavin raises a questioning brow, but Niles shakes his head.

 

“Maybe we should get inside first”, the brunet suggests, “We can talk more once we’re inside.”

 

Gavin agrees and they enter the restaurant. It’s as fancy as the photos on the website suggested. Usually, it wouldn’t have been Gavin’s first pick, but for a valentine’s day dinner it was just right. They have gone all out on the theme, too. There are roses scattered over all tables and the room is lit almost exclusively by candlelight.

 

A waitress approaches them and leads them to their table. They are served a glass of champagne and then left alone to take a look at the menu. It doesn’t take long for an awkward silence to take over, which wouldn’t have been quite as awkward, if the other tables hadn’t been occupied by happily chatting couples. Surprisingly enough, it’s Niles who eventually breaks the silence.

 

“So, you really looked for someone to have dinner with you, because your boyfriend dumped you this morning?”, he asks, taking a sip of champagne and looking at Gavin with the same intense gaze as before. Gavin rolls his eyes and nods. Of course, this was bound to come up at some point during the evening. He had just hoped it wouldn’t be the first thing he spoke about with Niles.

 

“Yup. Things weren’t going too well for a few weeks, but I didn’t think he’d end it so abruptly. I even told him I had something planned for tonight, but he didn’t care, apparently”, he sighs and empties his champagne in one go. Niles raises a brow at that but says nothing for a moment.

 

“That’s unfortunate”, the brunet comments, seemingly uncomfortable and at a loss for words.

 

“Shit happens”, Gavin replies with a shrug, “Some relationships work out, most don’t. That’s just how it is.”

 

Gavin knows he might be overdoing it with the whole ‘I’m fine, this break-up isn’t affecting me at all now can we please talk about something else?’-routine, but he doesn’t feel like he can do anything about it. Because if he does, it’s all people will want to talk to him about and that’s the thing he would absolutely hate to be doing right now. It’s something he’s always hated most about being dumped: the pitying looks, and the way people asked him, if he was going to be okay in a voice that sounded like they believed he would break if they spoke normally to him. Gavin’s not in the mood for that. What’s happened has happened and it isn’t even that bad. He’s definitely fine. He’s going to enjoy this evening out with Niles, and tomorrow will be a new day, easy as that.

 

Caught up in his own thoughts, Gavin almost misses, when Niles talks to him again.

 

“Why do you keep trying, then? Dating people and all that, I mean”, Niles asks and at first Gavin thinks it’s an accusation, but he finds the tone of voice and look on Niles’ face to be nothing but curious.

 

“On days like today I don’t really know either”, he admits, before interrupting himself to order wine for them. Once their glasses are in front of them, Gavin continues.

 

“I just think it’s nice to have someone you like around, you know?”, he continues after a bit, “There’s just so many assholes out there and I think it’s harder to deal with them if you don’t have someone you like in your life.” Niles nods, but doesn’t seem convinced.

 

“I’ve tried and I’ve only ended up with assholes so far”, the brunet admits, “So, for the last four years, I basically stopped trying. The only reason I went on any dates was, because Connor made me go. But most of the time nothing really came of it. Besides, once you’re in a relationship you can’t do things your way anymore. At least, the guys I dated usually demanded I take their opinion into consideration at all times.”

 

“Sounds like you’ve had nothing but shit boyfriends so far”, Gavin comments and Niles gives a non-committal shrug in return. They lapse into silence once more and this time it lasts for quite some time. Only when their first course is placed in front of them, Gavin finds something he wants to ask.

 

“If you hate dating so much, why did you come here with me?”, he wonders, “I mean, this isn’t really a date, but a date-like situation, so…” He lets the end of his sentence hang in the air and looks at Niles expectantly.

 

“Well, first of all, as you said: This isn’t a real date”, the brunet states, “And secondly, I live with Connor and Connor’s currently in a relationship. They’re out for dinner, too, but afterwards, Connor’s going to come home with his boyfriend, and they’ll go at it all night.” Gavin snorts at the look of obvious distaste on Niles’ face.

 

“Poor you”, he teases with a grin and Niles rolls his eyes at him.

 

“For the record: I don’t mind Connor being in a relationship”, Niles says and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “He deserves it and his boyfriend is an okay guy. But I could definitely live without them going at it like rabbits every other night. There’s some things siblings shouldn’t know about each other and knowing what the other sounds like during orgasm is one of them.”

 

Gavin bursts into laughter so loud, some of the other patrons turn towards him. Niles rolls his eyes again, but Gavin definitely sees a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. The ice seems to be finally broken.

 

They chat away easily after that and over the five courses of their dinner, Gavin learns quite a bit about Niles. He learns that the brunet works at a bookshop, that he’s thinking about going back to college to study engineering and that he’d love to have a pet, if only his landlord would allow it. In turn, Gavin tells Niles about his job in homicide and about his cats, Bob and Skittles. When Niles asks for it, Gavin even shows him pictures of them, and it feels like the first time tonight that he sees a genuine smile on Niles’ face, when he looks at the pics of Bob and Skittles playing.

 

“You could always come and meet them, you know? It’s still early”, Gavin suggests and feels his face heat up at the look Niles gives him.

 

“Shit, that must’ve come off pretty weird”, he mutters and clears his throat, “I’m really only asking, because you seem to like cats. I’m not trying to get into your pants, I promise.” Gavin sees Niles mouthing something that could have been ‘too bad’ into his wineglass before he takes another sip, but he’s sure he only imagined it.

 

“Sure, why not”, Niles agrees after a look at his watch, “I doubt Connor’s done with his program for the night and I think I’ve mentioned my thoughts on that before.”

 

“You have”, Gavin says and can barely suppress another snort, “I wouldn’t dare send you home to suffer, when I can also offer you wine, cats and company.”

 

Gavin settles the bill and they walk to his car together. Silence has fallen between them again, but this time it feels more companionable than awkward. Gavin has to admit that, despite the general weirdness of the situation, he’s really enjoyed himself so far. He hopes that Niles feels the same, but the brunet stays unreadable.

 

With seemingly everyone in Detroit either at home or out on a date with their partner tonight, the streets are uncharacteristically empty, and it doesn’t take them long to get to Gavin’s place. They hardly talk for the first half of the drive, until Niles receives a text and rolls his eyes with an annoyed groan.

 

“Connor wants to know how I’m doing”, he tells Gavin, while he’s already typing out his reply.

 

“And what are you telling him?”, Gavin asks, a smirk on his face. He’s genuinely curious, but also rather amused by the situation in general.

 

“I told him that I’m still alive and to shut up and get laid”, Niles replies calmly, before putting his phone away again. Gavin is grinning and out of the corner of his eye he sees that Niles looks amused, too. It’s not a concrete answer as to whether he is enjoying himself, but it gives Gavin something to work with. They chat about worried siblings and how Tina will surely text Gavin too at some point, until they reach Gavin’s place.

 

“Don’t worry if Bob ignores you at first”, Gavin tells Niles, as they climb the stairs to his apartment, “He’s a bit of an asshole and likes to be rude to people he doesn’t know.”

 

“I’ll try not to be too offended”, the brunet replies and Gavin can’t quite tell, if he’s mocking him or not.

 

They finally reach Gavin’s third-floor apartment and he unlocks the door. Immediately upon entering, they are greeted by Skittles, who does her best to be Bob’s polar opposite. She meows up at Gavin and Niles and looks at them expectantly. Gavin closes the front door with a smile, while Niles immediately kneels down to pet Skittles. The orange tabby carefully sniffs at his hand first, before she allows the brunet to pet him.

 

“You don’t have to stay down there all night, you know?”, Gavin says after he has watched Niles pet Skittles for a while, “You can pick her up and carry her to the living room if you want to. She likes being carried around.” Niles nods, picks Skittles up and follows Gavin to the living room, where he sits down on the couch, while Gavin goes to fetch a bottle of wine and two glasses from the kitchen.

 

“Just so you know: I’m not trying to get you drunk”, Gavin states, as he uncorks the bottle and fills their glasses, “I just bought this bottle for my ex and it needs to be empty as soon as possible. I don’t really like wine and only put up with it for him, so after tonight I don’t want any of that shit in my flat ever again.”

 

They toast and drink for a bit, until Niles’ gaze falls onto a picture of Gavin and Nick that he had meant to throw away at some point during the afternoon, but apparently forgot on the coffee table.

 

“That’s your ex?”, Niles asks, gesturing towards the picture with the hand that’s not currently scratching Skittles behind the ears. Gavin nods and tries not to look at the picture. It’s not that it hurts, he’s fine after all. He just doesn’t want to be reminded. So, instead he looks at Niles, who scrunches up his nose.

 

“He has weirdly crooked teeth”, the brunet states, “And what’s with that shirt? That’s at least two sizes to small…”

 

“Wouldn’t have taken you for someone that talks shit about others like this”, Gavin notes with amusement in his voice.

 

“Oh, I’m just trying to help you get over him”, Niles says with a shrug, “And listing all your ex’s flaws usually helps with that. At least it helped Connor through all of his break-ups so far.”

 

“Wait, you’re telling me that every time someone broke up with Connor you two would sit down together and talk shit about them like some sibling-version of Waldorf and Statler, until Connor didn’t miss them anymore?”, Gavin asks, actually taken aback a bit. He would’ve never expected of either, polite, cheerful Connor, nor his oddly introverted brother to do something like this.

 

“Essentially, yes”, Niles replies with a nod, “It’s not how I usually go about things, but as long as it helps, I don’t see any harm in it.”

Gavin feels like he has just uncovered something secret and hidden in Niles, something the brunet usually does not talk about with just anyone and it’s incredibly intriguing. He feels there’s a lot to Niles that he doesn’t know but would like to find out and maybe dragging his ex could be a start. Besides, Gavin comes to realize he really likes hearing Niles talk. His voice is so soft and gentle, even when he tries to seem cold and unapproachable in the way he dresses and holds himself. He could read a thesaurus to him and he’d still like it, Gavin thinks. Maybe he’s also had a bit too much wine already, but he can’t be bothered to think about that now.

 

Instead, he takes out his phone, opens Nick’s Instagram account and hands the phone to Niles. The brunet takes it and scrolls through the photos, the play of constantly changing expressions on his face amusing Gavin to no end. He finally joins Niles on the couch and waits for his verdict.

 

“Did you really date someone who had a ‘live, love, laugh’ lightbox?”, the brunet asks incredulously after a few seconds, “No wonder dating’s easy for you. You have no standards at all.”

 

Gavin feels like he should be offended, but he can’t help but snort. Definitely too much wine, he concludes, but it’s not like it can be helped. And he has always hated that lightbox, which he makes clear to Niles.

 

“In my defense”, he begins, watching as Niles rises a brow at him, “I once changed the letters to spell ‘Fuck bitches get money’ but he didn’t want to put that on Instagram.”

 

Niles rolls his eyes and at this point Gavin thinks he should have kept a list on how often the brunet has done it so far. For the most part, it doesn’t even seem to be from actual annoyance, but just something Niles did as a reaction to just about everything. It’s interesting and something Gavin wants to keep on investigating.

 

For the time being, though, Gavin watches the brunet keeping on scrolling and commenting on every other picture. By now, they’re rather close with Niles slumped on Gavin’s couch and Gavin resting his chin on the brunet’s shoulder to better be able to see his own phone’s screen. It’s comfortable and the solid warmth of another body pressed to his chest calms something in Gavin he hadn’t even realized was in unrest. He wonders briefly if this is too close, but Niles hasn’t complained yet and Gavin has no intention of moving. If anything, he’d like to get even closer.

Skittles has eventually gotten bored and retreated to a pillow in a corner on the far end of the room that she regularly sleeps on. Bob hasn’t even made an appearance as of yet, but Gavin and Niles are so kept up in each other’s company that neither of them notices.

 

At some point, Niles closes Nick’s Instagram profile and instead goes rifling through Gavin’s private pictures. By the time the smaller male notices, the brunet has already found a dick pic and zoomed in on it for closer inspection.

 

“Hey, that shit’s private!”, Gavin complains and lunges forward to take his phone from Niles, but the brunet’s arms are ridiculously long and when he outstretches them, there’s no way for Gavin to reach his phone.

  
“Relax, it’s not even yours”, Niles retorts with just another roll of his eyes, “At least I hope it isn’t. This is the smallest dick I’ve seen in a while.”

 

The brunet raises a brow at Gavin, and he shakes his head with a sigh. It’s true that Nick has tended more towards the shorter end of the scale, but Gavin’s never had any reason to complain. If he hadn’t had this much wine, he’d probably be offended on his ex-partner’s behalf but as it is, he shoves those thoughts away and tries not to let his bad conscience take away that warm, happy feeling he’s had for the past half hour.

 

“I mean, sure it’s not about size but what you do with it, but this…”, Niles continues, and Gavin can’t help but actually laugh at that.

 

“You know, that’s pretty much what he told me the first time we fucked”, Gavin tells him, and Niles rolls his eyes with an exasperated sigh, “Like, the size of his dick didn’t even bother me that much, but the cliché phrase almost made me go soft again.”

 

“I can imagine”, Niles replies with a chuckle, “Dick’s are such a big thing for some guys. Or not, in this case…”

 

Gavin groans and slaps Niles’ on the shoulder good-naturedly.

 

“That pun was terrible”, he whines and runs a hand through his hair from the ridiculousness of it all. Nowhere in hell would he have imagined his day ending with someone sitting on his sofa and talking shit about his ex to cheer him up. To be honest, he had expected himself to eat pizza in front of the tv by himself and even if this isn’t a real date and probably awkward as hell for Niles, if he’s even the slightest bit less intoxicated than Gavin, but he wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

Suddenly, Niles turns around and looks at Gavin intently. Their knees are touching now and even though they’re technically further apart, Gavin feels closer to Niles than ever, when the brunet looks into his eyes.

 

“Is it helping?”, he asks and throws Gavin for a loop.

 

“Is what helping?”, he wants to know and Niles gestures vaguely between them.

 

“This. Me dragging your ex to make you see he’s not that big of a loss anyway”, the brunet clarifies and watches Gavin with obvious curiosity and only the slightest hint of concern.

 

“It actually is”, Gavin admits, and Niles smiles brightly. It’s only the second time Gavin has ever seen him smile and he immediately wants to take a picture of it. Niles is already pretty attractive, but the smile makes him outright ravishing. Too bad, he rather rolls his eyes at everything than smiling more, Gavin thinks.

 

“That’s good”, Niles states and for a moment it looks like he wants to add something but stops himself.

 

Gavin looks into Niles’ eyes, wondering what it was he had wanted to say and realizing he has probably never seen this particular shade of blue before. It is beautiful and Gavin wants to tell Niles so, but he doesn’t know how to. It seems they are done gossiping like teenage girls for the moment, but since that’s most of what they had been doing up until now there isn’t really a conversation Gavin can continue.

 

They sit in silence for a few more moments, until Niles suddenly moves in and presses his lips to Gavin’s. In the end, Gavin figures, he shouldn’t be that surprised. He had always sucked at noticing tension between people and just because he hadn’t actually felt much sexual tension between them, it didn’t mean Niles hadn’t either. Or maybe he was just taken aback, because he had never expected the evening to go like this. He had imagined Niles and him going out, hopefully having a nice chat and then returning home to their respective flats for the night. The fact that Niles had come home with him, tried to cheer him up and even allowed for them to get as physically close to another as they had, was already way more than Gavin had envisioned to happen. Whatever it is, it wreaks havoc on Gavin’s brain.

 

But after the first onslaught of contrasting emotions, Gavin finds himself getting into the kiss. It’s been a while, since he’s been kissed this tenderly and, as he now realizes, it’s something he misses and craves desperately. His eyes slide shut, and he leans into the kiss. When Niles tries to break it some moments later, Gavin refuses to let him go, chasing after the soothing feeling that has begun spreading in his chest, ever since they started kissing. But finally, they need to break apart to breathe. They sit on Gavin’s couch, panting and neither of them says anything. Hesitation and insecurity hang heavily in the air between them and neither dares make the first move.

 

Finally, Gavin gives in and kisses Niles once more. It silences the turmoil in his head that he had been trying to push away for the entire day and he wants to keep it that way. A small voice in the back of his head asks Gavin if he really wants to use Niles to get over his ex, but he just intensifies the kiss and the voice goes quiet.

 

When they break the kiss this time, there’s no more hesitation in the air, only need and tension. Niles takes the initiative and pushes Gavin onto his back, before claiming his lips again. They kiss, tongues moving against each other and goosebumps break out all over Gavin’s skin, when Niles’ eventually drags his hand down his front, caressing his chest and belly through the fabric of his shirt. Once Niles’ hand finds his crotch, Gavin is already half-hard and willing to go further. He breaks the kiss, nevertheless.

 

“You don’t need to do this, you know? I told you I expect nothing from you and you’ve already done a lot for me-” He doesn’t get further, because Niles presses a hand over his mouth, and he falls silent.

 

“I know, Gavin”, the brunet says firmly, looking Gavin directly into the eyes, “Don’t think for one second that I’m doing this because I think I owe you, because I don’t. I enjoyed myself a lot tonight and I’d really like to blow you, because I think you’re very attractive. But if you don’t want me to, I won’t. If the only reason you’re holding me back is because you think I don’t really want to do this, I can assure that I one-hundred-percent want to do this.”

 

It takes Gavin a moment to process all this information. The fact that Niles’ intense gaze makes him rather hot under the collar isn’t helping much. He tries thinking about it rationally: If Niles approached him under different circumstances, would he let him do this? Probably. Should he let the brunet suck him off mere hours after his boyfriend dumped him and they had had nothing but a non-date? Probably not. Does he want the turmoil in his head to stop and just lose himself in Niles even if it’s only for a short while? Definitely.

 

“Alright”, Gavin eventually agrees, and he’s surprised at how rough his voice is. He’s going through with this, consequences be damned. Niles flashes him another brilliant smile and it almost manages to ban the qualms from Gavin’s mind. Then, Niles gets to work.

 

He pops the button on Gavin’s jeans and unzips them, to pull them down as far as he can without the smaller male having to lift his hips just yet. Gavin’s hands fly to his head and tangle in his hair, the second the brunet begins mouthing Gavin’s length through his boxers. He presses kisses to the head and runs his tongue up the length of it, until Gavin is a panting mess underneath him. Only then, does Niles indicate for Gavin to lift his hips and pulls his pants and briefs down in one go. They tangle somewhere by Gavin’s ankles, but it still leaves him enough room to spread his legs for Niles to lie down between them. The brunet takes his dick in hand and looks him dead in the eye, as he first licks a stripe from the base to the tip, before swallowing him down in one smooth movement.

 

“Fuck! Are you trying to kill me?!”, Gavin groans and lets his head drop onto a nearby pillow. He had meant to watch Niles through the whole thing, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen.

 

The brunet chuckles around the dick in his mouth and the vibrations it sends through him make Gavin shudder. It’s a good thing that his current position allows Niles to hold his hips down fairly easily, because otherwise Gavin would probably be thrusting into his mouth by now. As it is, Niles sets a slower pace, now and Gavin enjoys every second of it. Niles alternates between quick kitten-licks to the tip of Gavin’s length and swallowing him down with slow, deliberate movements. Sometimes he hums around his length and it sends Gavin spiraling. By now, he’s sure that his hands in Niles’ hair have cost the brunet more than a few of his gorgeous curls, but he doesn’t seem to mind, and Gavin can’t find it in him to care.

 

After a while, Niles begins bobbing his head at an ever-increasing pace and Gavin feels like he can hardly get a breath in with how constantly moans are spilling from his mouth now. His neighbor will probably complain in the morning, but that’s a problem for future-Gavin. Present-Gavin’s mind is currently blissfully empty, and he wants it to stay like this for a while.

 

Apparently, Niles has other plans, though. He pulls almost all the way off and focuses his mouth’s attention on the tip of Gavin’s dick, while one of his hands moves from its place on Gavin’s hip to caress his balls. A whine tears itself free from Gavin’s throat and he’s pretty sure it’s resonating from the walls. There’s no way he’s going to last much longer. He’s not sure, if Niles has caught up on the fact yet and he tries to alert him to it, but when he opens his mouth all that comes out is another needy moan. It seems only to encourage Niles, who presses his hands firmly over Gavin’s hips again, before swallowing him down entirely. Gavin feels the tip of his length hit the back of Niles’ throat and it’s only by sheer power of will that he doesn’t come down the brunet’s throat that instant.

 

“Fuck, Niles…I…”, is all he gets out as a second attempt at warning the brunet, before his brain short-circuits again.

 

Niles doesn’t give any indication that he’s understood besides squeezing Gavin’s hip with his right hand. The next thing Gavin knows is that Niles swallows around him and he’s gone. He’s probably screaming, but he can’t hear it over the pumping of blood in his ears. The entire world goes white for several blissful seconds. Through the haze of it, Gavin feels Niles swallow around him, and it pulls another ragged moan from him. Niles milks him of everything he has to offer and by the time he finally pulls off, it’s almost too much for him.

 

Slowly, the high from his orgasm subsides and Gavin plummets into a low. He feels like shit for taking advantage of Niles, because he only let him suck his dick to not be reminded of how shitty he feels. If he’s brutally honest, he’s been feeling like garbage all day and the whole going out thing was just a desperate attempt at not having to deal with his emotions. He never really cared about the money. It’s hard to admit to himself and Gavin feels like the worst human on earth. Mainly, because on top of running from his own feelings, he dragged Niles into this. Hell, he doesn’t even really know the guy and he’s taken advantage of him to make himself feel better. What kind of asshole does something like that?!

 

“Shit…”, Gavin mutters almost without realizing it and throws one arm across his face. It’s cowardly, but at least it saves him from having to look Niles in the eyes right now.

 

“You’re not okay, are you?”, he hears the brunet ask from the other end of the sofa. His voice is sympathetic, which makes all of this even worse.

 

“No, I’m not”, Gavin admits despite himself and heaves a shuddering sigh. Niles pats his thigh in a gesture of comfort, and it sends another spike through Gavin’s heart.

 

“I knew you weren’t doing too well to begin with, you know”, Niles says after a while, “It was pretty obvious. But you were trying so hard not to let it show, so I played along. I’m sorry if I crossed a line somewhere.”

 

“Fuck, no, you did nothing wrong!”, Gavin interjects immediately. He gathers the strength to open his eyes and pull his briefs and pants back up to at least safe some of his dignity.

 

“I was an emotionally-constipated asshole all night and I’m fucking sorry for it”, he continues after a moment. Gavin swallows around a lump in his throat. There’s nothing more he wants right now than to curl in on himself and forget this day ever happened.

 

“I still enjoyed meeting you”, Niles insists, and Gavin hears in his voice that it’s true. Gavin doesn’t know what to say in return. Apparently, he’s met a fucking saint today. Not that he deserves it, but apparently, destiny or whatever doesn’t care about that. For a few moments neither of them says a word, then Niles clears his throat.

 

“Do you want me to leave?”, he asks. Gavin nods, staring at the ceiling to avoid having to look at him. He feels tears prickling in his eyes and the last thing he wants to happen tonight is to burst into tears in front of the guy, who just sucked his dick.

 

“Just promise me not to do anything stupid”, Niles insists, as he gets to his feet. Gavin nods again and closes his eyes to prevent tears from spilling. He listens to the sound of Niles gathering his belongings and bidding him farewell, before the front door closes behind him.

 

The next instant, Gavin is curled in on himself on his side and sobbing into a pillow. Tears run down his face in hot streams and for a long while it feels like they’re never going to stop. Gavin feels like shit. Because his boyfriend broke up with him. Because he refused to deal with it like an adult and face his feelings. Because he dragged Niles into this and used him so he didn’t have to admit that being dumped hurt and that it would probably continue to hurt for a while longer.

 

Eventually, Gavin pulls a decorative comforter off the back of the couch and wraps it around himself as a make-shift blanket. At some point, Bob takes his usual spot by Gavin’s feet and Skittles curls herself up against his chest. It doesn’t stop his heart from aching and his head from pounding, but it helps. It isn’t long after the tears have dried that Gavin drifts off.

 

 

 

He’s woken up the next morning by the sound of his doorbell ringing. It’s half past ten and he suspects it’s Tina. Gavin refuses to look into any mirrors, as he makes his way to the door and buzzes his friend in. If he does, he will most likely throw himself out of the window.

 

A few moments later, Tina stands before him with a huge bag in her hands. He can see about five pounds of ice cream alone, next to bags upon bags of chips and some new and classic horror movies. Gavin sees that Tina wants to ask him about last night, but when she sees him, she closes her mouth again and instead pulls him into a tight hug. For several long, beautiful moments, Gavin just lets himself be held and he feels a whole lot better. Then they break apart and settle down on the couch to start their movie-marathon.

 

They’re halfway through the second part of the insidious remake series, when Gavin’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He unlocks it and his heart begins pounding in his chest, as he begins to read the message.

 

_“Good morning, Gavin. I know I said yesterday that I wasn’t interested in dating anymore, but I think I’d like to give it another try for you. If you’re not interested or think that I’m a massive creep for sending you this after we only just met last night that’s fine. But if you’re into the idea, I’ll wait until you’re over your ex and then we can go out on a real date. I hope you’re doing okay. Niles.”_

Overwhelmed, Gavin shoves his phone back into his pocket and tries to focus on the movie. He quickly finds that it’s harder than he thought. Thinking about it, he would really like to see Niles again, if only to make up for the horrible impression he surely made last night. Maybe there’s a way they can just forget yesterday ever happened and move on from there. The more he thinks about it, the more Gavin thinks he likes the idea. Still, his fingers are trembling, when he pulls his phone out again and types his reply.

 

_“Hey. Really didn’t expect to ever hear from you again. But I guess now that you’ve seen the worst of me, there’s really not much that could go wrong if we had another date. I’m still not okay, but I’ll let you know when I am and then you’ll get a real date. Can’t wait to see you again. Gavin.”_

This time, when he puts his phone away, there’s a wide grin on Gavin’s face. Sure, he is in no way over his recent break-up and he has no idea how long it will take until he is, but now, at least, he knows there’s someone waiting for him and that’s a pretty good start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading. It really means a lot to me! Comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> Come say hi on twitter @NoiseStrangest


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